


Why Tony Stark Needs Sleep

by Troodon



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Someone Needs To Make Tony Sleep, Tony No, coffee of doom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 08:04:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5531948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Troodon/pseuds/Troodon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story in conversations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Tony Stark Needs Sleep

"Hey, Stark."

"Hawkguy."

"Hey, man. Jeez, you look like shit. When'd you last sleep?"

"Sleep is for the lesser people. Blackout engineering is the best engineering. Case in point!"

"..."

"Eh? _Eh?_ What do you think?"

"...I think you need to lay off the coffee. And this is me saying it. The fuck _is_ it? It looks like someone steampunk'd the hell outta a Dalek."

"Okay, points for the Doctor Who reference, and steampunk isn't a verb. This, my dear caffeine addict in arms, is a coffee machine."

"How- What- I can't-"

"It's okay. Take your time. Genius of this caliber needs time to sink in."

" _HOW?_ "

"Well, you kinda just gaze at it and just soak it-"

"No, Stark. How is that a coffee machine? Where do you even put the mug? Where does the coffee come out of? WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?"

"Easy there, Iron Fist."

"I will cut you."

"Push that button."

"Stark, there are at least fifty buttons on this thing. Which one is 'that button'?"

"The one in the middle. And there's, like, twenty. Tops. But points for the effort. Just push the button! Push it push it push it push it pus-"

"All right, all right. It's not gonna attach to my arm or anything, right?"

Click.

"...Jesus, that's creepy as fuck. Why's it making those noises?"

"Oh, right. There's like a teensy, itty-bitty chance it'll explode. Like, three percent. Well, more like thirty but who cares about that?"

" _Explode?!_ "

"Oh hey it's done drink your coffee. And the 3D printer got the mug right! Yay!"

"Handle's a bow. Cute."

"..."

"..."

"Well?!"

"Holy shit."

"Am I good, or am I good?"

"This... this is the best fucking coffee I've ever had. What the fuck. How."

"Are- Are you crying?"

"You've changed my life today, Stark. Mwah!"

"Jesus Christ, Clint! What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Marry me. Be my coffee bride. I promise to be good to you for ever and ever amen."

"Why am I the bride?"

"You're prettier in a dress?"

"Damn right I am!"

[Later]

"Hi Capsicle."

"Cap."

"...Stark, why are you in a wedding dress?"

**Author's Note:**

> So this was my first fic in this fandom. Please let me know if the characterizations are off, funky misspellings or lack of capitals, okay? I'm typing this mostly drunk. On cheer. And rum. Good tasty rum.


End file.
